Wildness
12.28.04 (1:24 pm) [edit]
I am missing being home for four lovely Christmassy days. Sigh. A restful break, with some lovely visits with family and friends.
Right now the boss guys are running about trying to determine the proper number of budgeted P.A.'s. There were four, and today John says the number has gone up to five. But I know Rick has about ten folks who want to help . . . And I am afraid that they won't get hired, evern though Rick said they would a month ago, because these folks are hiring ones they know.
Rick is stranded out of town due to fog, throwing today's schedule all off, of course.
I actually got my one-page Day Breakdown done, with the help of Matthew's awesome updated One-Liner.
Have been on the phone with Steve the Casting Director, trying to assist Matthew with casting questions in Camiguin's absence.
We've had to call Heather many times, alas, and I know how fun that can be, to be called many times at home . . . poor thing.
Back to it.
Right now the boss guys are running about trying to determine the proper number of budgeted P.A.'s. There were four, and today John says the number has gone up to five. But I know Rick has about ten folks who want to help . . . And I am afraid that they won't get hired, evern though Rick said they would a month ago, because these folks are hiring ones they know.
Rick is stranded out of town due to fog, throwing today's schedule all off, of course.
I actually got my one-page Day Breakdown done, with the help of Matthew's awesome updated One-Liner.
Have been on the phone with Steve the Casting Director, trying to assist Matthew with casting questions in Camiguin's absence.
We've had to call Heather many times, alas, and I know how fun that can be, to be called many times at home . . . poor thing.
Back to it.
Quiet Day, Dec. 23
12.23.04 (1:23 pm) [edit]
In the office on our last official day of work until Dec. 28 (though I know I will be logging the prep hours at home, big time . . . )
Producer John was in today (though he did just leave), and UPM Chris (who needed a hint of copyediting), and I need to let in these excellent Art cuties who are hauling in set piece after set piece, struggling through both doors until I reminded them that there is a loading dock . . . They might want to use some of Mom's art for the shoot. Yay, say I. Too bad she won't be an extra for us, darn it. But she is in so much agony with the awful stenosis in her back that she can barely get around. It breaks my heart. It hit her right after the documentary shoot up at the farm this summer, too. Wierd.
I was greeted with a slap in the middle of the back, and now I think I need to return to the chiropractor (I was just there this morning, before work - and while there Mark said Mom probably needs surgery, oh dear.).
The Art Kids just thanked me for putting their pictures and titles on the wall. One said "I just like seeing my name with 'Set Decorator' next to it!"
I know the feeling. Lots of us are a bit 'golly-gee-wow' at times. I do try to hide it, being a mature matron, but when nobody is here, I sometimes want to giggle. It is just such a gift to be here.
I was just about to get in my truck and drive it home, but Charlie said he needs it to go buy lumber, so I guess I'm here for a bit longer.
Heather just emailed that "one of our biggies" responded . . . that would be one of her A-list buddies . . . all fingers crossed.
Better get back to my elusive script work. Enough Coordinating!
Producer John was in today (though he did just leave), and UPM Chris (who needed a hint of copyediting), and I need to let in these excellent Art cuties who are hauling in set piece after set piece, struggling through both doors until I reminded them that there is a loading dock . . . They might want to use some of Mom's art for the shoot. Yay, say I. Too bad she won't be an extra for us, darn it. But she is in so much agony with the awful stenosis in her back that she can barely get around. It breaks my heart. It hit her right after the documentary shoot up at the farm this summer, too. Wierd.
I was greeted with a slap in the middle of the back, and now I think I need to return to the chiropractor (I was just there this morning, before work - and while there Mark said Mom probably needs surgery, oh dear.).
The Art Kids just thanked me for putting their pictures and titles on the wall. One said "I just like seeing my name with 'Set Decorator' next to it!"
I know the feeling. Lots of us are a bit 'golly-gee-wow' at times. I do try to hide it, being a mature matron, but when nobody is here, I sometimes want to giggle. It is just such a gift to be here.
I was just about to get in my truck and drive it home, but Charlie said he needs it to go buy lumber, so I guess I'm here for a bit longer.
Heather just emailed that "one of our biggies" responded . . . that would be one of her A-list buddies . . . all fingers crossed.
Better get back to my elusive script work. Enough Coordinating!
Casting, Choreography, and Director Assisting
12.23.04 (9:01 am) [edit]
Wed. Dec, 22, 2004
Another 12-hour wonder. So much I didn't get done. I am home finally and grey with fatigue, and so are Heather and Amelya, who stayed to the bitter end as well, hours past when we were supposed to leave. It is the last OFFICIAL day of work until Jan. 3rd, and Heather won't be back until then, as that was a pary of her deal and why she took the job, but I will come in, for many days, and Amelya will for one day. Each P.A. will be coming in for one day after Christmas. And I will come in until my fifteenth anniversary, and I am not working that day.
Tomorrow it will just be the Costume Designers, John, Ian the glorious volunteer P.A., and me, as far as I know.
Got the script today for the short I may be hired to direct, which is a fun idea. Haven't read it yet, but how great to maybe have paying work lined up for March. And the writer/producer likes Sean for the DP, so there's one worry gone . . .
I helped with extras casting for the kids and older folks today. Many that I called said yes. Met with Camiguin, the Extras Casting Director/Wrangler. WHAT a fabulous woman. Unfailingly generous and sweet.
Rick, after scouting locations with his team all day until 5, came to my desk and said that he wanted to cast Terry for an Under-5, the Tailor, which was completely unexpected. Pure gift. Now there are three Moores on the movie. And several of Tallis' castmates from ACT. The business really is pretty much about knowing people. And about being good, but lots of people are good. Yesterday the few degrees of separation were apparent, as Heather went down her list of famous actors who would take her calls over the holidays, and I submitted my one contact, all gratefully accepted by Rick.
I had a terrific meeting with my friend and former acting student, the gorgeous and ebullient Julie the Ballerina, and Camiguin and I agree that she should be our choreographer, and appear as the Teacher Extra in the "Crying Kids" scene that Tallis is in. Joy. I am very excited to work with her as a choreographer. I showed her my 10-minute short, and she liked it - yay.
Yesterday Rick came over to my desk and said said "Normally we wouldn't be asking you to do all these things, they are really the job of the Director's Assistant, not the Script Supervisor. But since we don't have one . . . " I said it was okay. Heck, I have, so far, been"Acting Production Coordinator" for several weeks, done casting, sort of been a "Native Dancing Liaison", (I was to be a choreograher for a few weeks, but I really hope to hand that off to Julie - too many jobs!), acted as "Director's Assistant", I suppose, and soon, I hope, will actually be the real live Scriptie. I am learning so much on a daily basis that it's well worth the little pay! Heather is teaching the P.A.s and me How Things Work on major films, for next time. Wow. Low-budget has many opportunities for education.
I wrangle the script (and learn piles about Final Draft in the process, and how to format my own scripts better for production, which I hope fervently to need to know soon!). I duplicate the script. I STILL help folks learn about how the office is set up. I try to help as people struggle with internet/phone connections. I feed folks who forget to bring food (including Rick, sometimes). I clean up the messes that people inevitably leave. I swear under my breath, and sometimes out loud, as the horrid copier jams and jams. And I try to do a good job.
Faux pas yesterday. In my utter exhaustion, I released the new script (Draft 25) without asterisks to denote the changes stemming from the production meeting. AGH! So I had to rework it tonight, with all the returned department heads panting for it (some more patiently than others), and Final Draft wasn't behaving, and it was horrible, and the copier jammed, and there was a loud yelling bunch of kids in the scary dark parking lot down the street, and I was late to get home to Theo (as the boys have shows tonight), and I ate chocolate truffles (DUMB) that Heather gave me, and it was total stress and wildness. But, excepting one line change that I couldn't find, I got it done. We will be on blue pages next time, at least according to Matthew. PHEW!
Made it home nine-something, and took Karin's place, sitting on the bed reading to a sweet cuddly Theo, then snuggled up with him for prayers. My sweet boy. How I miss being home.
Miss my dears, both human and equine. Bard is all settled at Lynn Salewski's barn now. Haven't seen him in nearly a month!! I hope he remembers me . . .
Terry and Tal just got home . . . good night . . .
Another 12-hour wonder. So much I didn't get done. I am home finally and grey with fatigue, and so are Heather and Amelya, who stayed to the bitter end as well, hours past when we were supposed to leave. It is the last OFFICIAL day of work until Jan. 3rd, and Heather won't be back until then, as that was a pary of her deal and why she took the job, but I will come in, for many days, and Amelya will for one day. Each P.A. will be coming in for one day after Christmas. And I will come in until my fifteenth anniversary, and I am not working that day.
Tomorrow it will just be the Costume Designers, John, Ian the glorious volunteer P.A., and me, as far as I know.
Got the script today for the short I may be hired to direct, which is a fun idea. Haven't read it yet, but how great to maybe have paying work lined up for March. And the writer/producer likes Sean for the DP, so there's one worry gone . . .
I helped with extras casting for the kids and older folks today. Many that I called said yes. Met with Camiguin, the Extras Casting Director/Wrangler. WHAT a fabulous woman. Unfailingly generous and sweet.
Rick, after scouting locations with his team all day until 5, came to my desk and said that he wanted to cast Terry for an Under-5, the Tailor, which was completely unexpected. Pure gift. Now there are three Moores on the movie. And several of Tallis' castmates from ACT. The business really is pretty much about knowing people. And about being good, but lots of people are good. Yesterday the few degrees of separation were apparent, as Heather went down her list of famous actors who would take her calls over the holidays, and I submitted my one contact, all gratefully accepted by Rick.
I had a terrific meeting with my friend and former acting student, the gorgeous and ebullient Julie the Ballerina, and Camiguin and I agree that she should be our choreographer, and appear as the Teacher Extra in the "Crying Kids" scene that Tallis is in. Joy. I am very excited to work with her as a choreographer. I showed her my 10-minute short, and she liked it - yay.
Yesterday Rick came over to my desk and said said "Normally we wouldn't be asking you to do all these things, they are really the job of the Director's Assistant, not the Script Supervisor. But since we don't have one . . . " I said it was okay. Heck, I have, so far, been"Acting Production Coordinator" for several weeks, done casting, sort of been a "Native Dancing Liaison", (I was to be a choreograher for a few weeks, but I really hope to hand that off to Julie - too many jobs!), acted as "Director's Assistant", I suppose, and soon, I hope, will actually be the real live Scriptie. I am learning so much on a daily basis that it's well worth the little pay! Heather is teaching the P.A.s and me How Things Work on major films, for next time. Wow. Low-budget has many opportunities for education.
I wrangle the script (and learn piles about Final Draft in the process, and how to format my own scripts better for production, which I hope fervently to need to know soon!). I duplicate the script. I STILL help folks learn about how the office is set up. I try to help as people struggle with internet/phone connections. I feed folks who forget to bring food (including Rick, sometimes). I clean up the messes that people inevitably leave. I swear under my breath, and sometimes out loud, as the horrid copier jams and jams. And I try to do a good job.
Faux pas yesterday. In my utter exhaustion, I released the new script (Draft 25) without asterisks to denote the changes stemming from the production meeting. AGH! So I had to rework it tonight, with all the returned department heads panting for it (some more patiently than others), and Final Draft wasn't behaving, and it was horrible, and the copier jammed, and there was a loud yelling bunch of kids in the scary dark parking lot down the street, and I was late to get home to Theo (as the boys have shows tonight), and I ate chocolate truffles (DUMB) that Heather gave me, and it was total stress and wildness. But, excepting one line change that I couldn't find, I got it done. We will be on blue pages next time, at least according to Matthew. PHEW!
Made it home nine-something, and took Karin's place, sitting on the bed reading to a sweet cuddly Theo, then snuggled up with him for prayers. My sweet boy. How I miss being home.
Miss my dears, both human and equine. Bard is all settled at Lynn Salewski's barn now. Haven't seen him in nearly a month!! I hope he remembers me . . .
Terry and Tal just got home . . . good night . . .
A Good Day (Tues. Night))
12.21.04 (10:06 pm) [edit]
Well, my first production meeting on my first feature is out of the way, and it went splendidly, at least from my point of view. I loved hearing how all these people that know so much more than I do are going to handle all these filmmaking problems . . . what a fabulous team. Love the energy, the verbal sparring, the preparedness. It is a great honor to be asked to sit at the table.
I could do with a little less manicness, but it has its up side. Like a gerbil on a wheel, I churned out the new draft of the script, made some Senior Citizen casting calls for Camiguin (I actually know quite a few nice-looking folk over seventy), and never got to Prodigy Camp work. Sigh. Things are popping all over the place. Energy flung everywhere, and some of it unpleasant. But most of it truly fun.
Casting is nearly done, though Rick did ask me to call my amazing actor friend in New York directly, because all the agencies are supposedly closed for the holidays. So I did, and it turns out that her agency was open, probably the only one in L.A. that was. OOPS! I got a very very nice email back telling me this, and asking me to call her agent after the holidays, which sounded like the polite thing to do, by my lights. But of course Rick is totally under the gun, and really wanted my friend (duh, who wouldn't; I think she's the best actor working), so he called her agent and they talked for a long time. But a half an hour later she called back. My friend passed (can't imagine why, I mean, we have NO money to offer . . . hmm!). Rick was smiling though; he said that it was much better to get a quick "no" than a prolonged waiting period.
So I wish my friend could do it. But I think she has much better offers lurking. Which makes me rejoice, because I love her so, and always want to see her next thing.
Then drove down to Tacoma to rehearse four of the actors in the other movie, who were wonderful. And drove the hour back up. Looong day.
But I am so happy. It's going to be a fabulous movie. They both are, I hope, I hope.
Terry called me when I was almost home, saying that he wondered if I was okay, having not heard from me. I told him about the great Edith Wharton short story I had heard on the radio. And that was, basically, our conversation for the day.
I miss my family.
I could do with a little less manicness, but it has its up side. Like a gerbil on a wheel, I churned out the new draft of the script, made some Senior Citizen casting calls for Camiguin (I actually know quite a few nice-looking folk over seventy), and never got to Prodigy Camp work. Sigh. Things are popping all over the place. Energy flung everywhere, and some of it unpleasant. But most of it truly fun.
Casting is nearly done, though Rick did ask me to call my amazing actor friend in New York directly, because all the agencies are supposedly closed for the holidays. So I did, and it turns out that her agency was open, probably the only one in L.A. that was. OOPS! I got a very very nice email back telling me this, and asking me to call her agent after the holidays, which sounded like the polite thing to do, by my lights. But of course Rick is totally under the gun, and really wanted my friend (duh, who wouldn't; I think she's the best actor working), so he called her agent and they talked for a long time. But a half an hour later she called back. My friend passed (can't imagine why, I mean, we have NO money to offer . . . hmm!). Rick was smiling though; he said that it was much better to get a quick "no" than a prolonged waiting period.
So I wish my friend could do it. But I think she has much better offers lurking. Which makes me rejoice, because I love her so, and always want to see her next thing.
Then drove down to Tacoma to rehearse four of the actors in the other movie, who were wonderful. And drove the hour back up. Looong day.
But I am so happy. It's going to be a fabulous movie. They both are, I hope, I hope.
Terry called me when I was almost home, saying that he wondered if I was okay, having not heard from me. I told him about the great Edith Wharton short story I had heard on the radio. And that was, basically, our conversation for the day.
I miss my family.
Insomnia
12.21.04 (5:33 am) [edit]
Tuesday Dec. 21, 2004 7 am
I have been up since 4-something, lying in bed with insomnia, trying to rest but burning up with muscle pain and tightness and depression over not being able to sleep.
I was so utterly destroyed after my 11-hour day that I fell into bed at 10. But then had wake-up insomnia, which is always so infuriating, especially when I had set my alarm for a nine-hour sleep, fully intending to get it!
This morning is the Very Big Deal First All-Department Head Production Meeting (that means me, as Scriptie I am a Department Head), at nine, and, as Heather said last night after our 11-hour day, "We Girls" are to be there early to get it all ready.
I ache in every muscle, even my face. Well, especially my face, actually. Sorry to whine, but fibromyalgia is no fun on overwork and no sleep.
I know I signed up for this. And I am fully aware that I will be this way until March.
But I am a little nervous about the toll it is taking on my body, especially if I can't sleep.
I had a good "quiet time" with my Book of Common Prayer this morning. God reminded me that He is in control. Reassuring, when I am at such a low ebb.
Here is the daily prayer from the autism support people, slightly modified, as always:
What a comfort it is to know that when we pray you hear us, and that even at this moment you are listening to us. I thank you that we can have confidence in approaching you. Help us to understand your will so that we know what to ask. Give us both courage and Godly insight as we face the road ahead. I especially thank you for your concern for Theo. We pray that you would continue to cause him to have great breakthroughs in days ahead, so that he can reach all the potential you have given him.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen
God is in charge of all of my life. Terry, the kids, the movies, the writing, Tallis'/Terry's acting careers, the loss of the farm, the aging relatives, my own struggles with health. God is in charge of it all. I am trying to breathe into that as I write in this quiet house when I ought to be sleeping.
Yesterday at work, while typically exhausting, was mostly pure joy, because my friend Crystal, my writing/horse/SCA buddy from God, was there to bail us out of various messes and solve many technical problems with the copier (JOY!!), my wacky impenetrable Appleworks spreadsheets (bless her!), and other fun things.
The best part was that we actually sat down for twenty minutes in the lunchroom and ate together. I always eat at my desk. It was utterly amazing to have my sweet friend at the production office. (And she gave me a perfect present too, for Christmas, a mug with "Equestrian Girl" on it, to remind me of my long, lost horse that I never see now . . . heartbreak!) Wow I miss my other life! Family, friends . . . what are those??
And, to my utter honor and delight, Rick and John called me into the office twice for casting sessions. I have been amazed that Rick has called on my Casting Director skills throughout the last month, having me watch audition tapes, but this was way fun. Bless Rick. He said he wanted my unbiased opinion on the final two lead actresses, and mine confirmed what he already was thinking, but he said he was just waiting for that (he probably was just been being nice!), and, so confirmed, he would make the final offer today. And then we are cast. Phew!
And he has chosen a perfect and talented pair of young leads. Alleluia!!!
Tonight I go to the other movie's rehearsal in Tacoma. The one that Rick fully supports me doing in my spare time, as long as this one has my 100% when I am on it, which is of course what I have always done/will always do! I am relieved to see today that that movie shoots a month past when we wrap Rick's movie, so I really can be of use there for the second half of the shoot. I am "Acting Coach" on that movie, because my-most honed skills in movies still stem from my many years in the theatre as a director, actor, and Casting Director.
This morning, though, lying in bed attempting sleep and failing, burning up, I wondered if I could do the other one at all.
Leaving it up to God.
Please God, heal my body so I can do all that I need to do . . . and bless my family while I am away at the office/set each day . . . Amen.
I have been up since 4-something, lying in bed with insomnia, trying to rest but burning up with muscle pain and tightness and depression over not being able to sleep.
I was so utterly destroyed after my 11-hour day that I fell into bed at 10. But then had wake-up insomnia, which is always so infuriating, especially when I had set my alarm for a nine-hour sleep, fully intending to get it!
This morning is the Very Big Deal First All-Department Head Production Meeting (that means me, as Scriptie I am a Department Head), at nine, and, as Heather said last night after our 11-hour day, "We Girls" are to be there early to get it all ready.
I ache in every muscle, even my face. Well, especially my face, actually. Sorry to whine, but fibromyalgia is no fun on overwork and no sleep.
I know I signed up for this. And I am fully aware that I will be this way until March.
But I am a little nervous about the toll it is taking on my body, especially if I can't sleep.
I had a good "quiet time" with my Book of Common Prayer this morning. God reminded me that He is in control. Reassuring, when I am at such a low ebb.
Here is the daily prayer from the autism support people, slightly modified, as always:
What a comfort it is to know that when we pray you hear us, and that even at this moment you are listening to us. I thank you that we can have confidence in approaching you. Help us to understand your will so that we know what to ask. Give us both courage and Godly insight as we face the road ahead. I especially thank you for your concern for Theo. We pray that you would continue to cause him to have great breakthroughs in days ahead, so that he can reach all the potential you have given him.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen
God is in charge of all of my life. Terry, the kids, the movies, the writing, Tallis'/Terry's acting careers, the loss of the farm, the aging relatives, my own struggles with health. God is in charge of it all. I am trying to breathe into that as I write in this quiet house when I ought to be sleeping.
Yesterday at work, while typically exhausting, was mostly pure joy, because my friend Crystal, my writing/horse/SCA buddy from God, was there to bail us out of various messes and solve many technical problems with the copier (JOY!!), my wacky impenetrable Appleworks spreadsheets (bless her!), and other fun things.
The best part was that we actually sat down for twenty minutes in the lunchroom and ate together. I always eat at my desk. It was utterly amazing to have my sweet friend at the production office. (And she gave me a perfect present too, for Christmas, a mug with "Equestrian Girl" on it, to remind me of my long, lost horse that I never see now . . . heartbreak!) Wow I miss my other life! Family, friends . . . what are those??
And, to my utter honor and delight, Rick and John called me into the office twice for casting sessions. I have been amazed that Rick has called on my Casting Director skills throughout the last month, having me watch audition tapes, but this was way fun. Bless Rick. He said he wanted my unbiased opinion on the final two lead actresses, and mine confirmed what he already was thinking, but he said he was just waiting for that (he probably was just been being nice!), and, so confirmed, he would make the final offer today. And then we are cast. Phew!
And he has chosen a perfect and talented pair of young leads. Alleluia!!!
Tonight I go to the other movie's rehearsal in Tacoma. The one that Rick fully supports me doing in my spare time, as long as this one has my 100% when I am on it, which is of course what I have always done/will always do! I am relieved to see today that that movie shoots a month past when we wrap Rick's movie, so I really can be of use there for the second half of the shoot. I am "Acting Coach" on that movie, because my-most honed skills in movies still stem from my many years in the theatre as a director, actor, and Casting Director.
This morning, though, lying in bed attempting sleep and failing, burning up, I wondered if I could do the other one at all.
Leaving it up to God.
Please God, heal my body so I can do all that I need to do . . . and bless my family while I am away at the office/set each day . . . Amen.
Sunday Dec. 19, 2004
12.19.04 (3:44 pm) [edit]
Still sore face, still oozing. Very tired today, three-hour nap (great dream about cats though!). Trying hard to get up the nerve to do the breakdowns, with Theo utterly cranked and erupting everywhere.
Wrapped presents until 3 a.m. last night, fibro today. And sadly I must undertake a shopping run after Theo is asleep.
Theo is at present spitting on me, kicking my feet, and hitting me with a cardboard middle from roll of wrapping paper as I sit at my little T.V. table in the living room (the only place I can attempt to work when at home, because I need to be in the same room as Theo, obviously). That's my boy. He is really feeling the lack of me in his life due to the film, and is taking it out on me a bit when I am home and conscious.
Now he's having a no-cookie tantrum on the couch.
I think I'll get off the computer now.
Wrapped presents until 3 a.m. last night, fibro today. And sadly I must undertake a shopping run after Theo is asleep.
Theo is at present spitting on me, kicking my feet, and hitting me with a cardboard middle from roll of wrapping paper as I sit at my little T.V. table in the living room (the only place I can attempt to work when at home, because I need to be in the same room as Theo, obviously). That's my boy. He is really feeling the lack of me in his life due to the film, and is taking it out on me a bit when I am home and conscious.
Now he's having a no-cookie tantrum on the couch.
I think I'll get off the computer now.
SO tired . . . and Blessed.
12.18.04 (11:02 am) [edit]
I am really sick and tired today; can barely think or move. I had a brief lie-down before Terry went to work at noon, and now Theo and I are watching Christmas cartoons. Overdid it yesterday, face is still bleeding, woozy. I don't recover as fast as folks who aren't immune-suppressed.
Got a sweet email back from Rick today. I asked him whether or not Tallis should accept the offer he got yesterday from Taproot Theatre; they have offered "Enemy of the People"; so he'd get to work with his Dad again. So wonderful. But then again, he has offers to be in: 1) "The Gamers: Dorkness Rising", as well as 2) a lead part in a horror movie that Nate is filming, and 3) in ours, in one small school-kid extra scene, but still it's very cool. Anyway, here's what blessed, blessed Rick wrote back (may he be forever hugged-on by angels who take away all his stress):
"Wow. A lad in demand. Tallis should do the play. It would not interfere with the day shoot of the children. I want to use him if he's interested and the age of the school children is right. He's too good to pass up.
Hope you're feeling better today.
Rick"
Tallis has done five plays since turning pro in the Fall of 2003: ("Christmas Carol" at ACT, "Cry, the Beloved Country" at Book-It, "Midsummer's" at YouthTheatre, "Love's Labors' Lost" at Wooden O, and "Christmas Carol" now at ACT again. And he's starting off 2005 with a play and three films. Life is so good, when I remember to thank God for his favor to our little "Chip off the Ol Block"! Pretty nice year for 13. I don't think I ever had a year quite that good . . . well, maybe in the early nineties . . . so fun.
Now I must lie on the couch and groan. Theo keeps asking to go out and do something, but I am declining, in favor of reclining.
Oh, here's a wonderful email I got, an adaptation of 1 Corinthians 13:
If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of
twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family,
I'm just another decorator.
If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies,
preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at
mealtime, but do not show love to my friends, I'm just another cook.
If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give
all that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family, it
profits me nothing.
If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes,
attend myriad holiday parties and sing in the choir's cantata
but do not focus on God, I have missed the point.
Love stops the cooking to hug the child.
Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the loved ones.
Love is kind, though harried and tired.
Love doesn't envy another's home that has coordinated Christmas
china and table linens.
Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful
they are there to be in the way.
Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return, but
rejoices in giving to those who can't.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,
endures all things.
Love never fails.
Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will
rust.
But giving the gift of love will endure.
Merry Christmas!
Got a sweet email back from Rick today. I asked him whether or not Tallis should accept the offer he got yesterday from Taproot Theatre; they have offered "Enemy of the People"; so he'd get to work with his Dad again. So wonderful. But then again, he has offers to be in: 1) "The Gamers: Dorkness Rising", as well as 2) a lead part in a horror movie that Nate is filming, and 3) in ours, in one small school-kid extra scene, but still it's very cool. Anyway, here's what blessed, blessed Rick wrote back (may he be forever hugged-on by angels who take away all his stress):
"Wow. A lad in demand. Tallis should do the play. It would not interfere with the day shoot of the children. I want to use him if he's interested and the age of the school children is right. He's too good to pass up.
Hope you're feeling better today.
Rick"
Tallis has done five plays since turning pro in the Fall of 2003: ("Christmas Carol" at ACT, "Cry, the Beloved Country" at Book-It, "Midsummer's" at YouthTheatre, "Love's Labors' Lost" at Wooden O, and "Christmas Carol" now at ACT again. And he's starting off 2005 with a play and three films. Life is so good, when I remember to thank God for his favor to our little "Chip off the Ol Block"! Pretty nice year for 13. I don't think I ever had a year quite that good . . . well, maybe in the early nineties . . . so fun.
Now I must lie on the couch and groan. Theo keeps asking to go out and do something, but I am declining, in favor of reclining.
Oh, here's a wonderful email I got, an adaptation of 1 Corinthians 13:
If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of
twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family,
I'm just another decorator.
If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies,
preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at
mealtime, but do not show love to my friends, I'm just another cook.
If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give
all that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family, it
profits me nothing.
If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes,
attend myriad holiday parties and sing in the choir's cantata
but do not focus on God, I have missed the point.
Love stops the cooking to hug the child.
Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the loved ones.
Love is kind, though harried and tired.
Love doesn't envy another's home that has coordinated Christmas
china and table linens.
Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful
they are there to be in the way.
Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return, but
rejoices in giving to those who can't.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,
endures all things.
Love never fails.
Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will
rust.
But giving the gift of love will endure.
Merry Christmas!
Recovery Through Work Program
12.17.04 (4:11 pm) [edit]
Friday Dec. 17, 2004
OW. I have been at work all day, hole in my face or not, and it's 6pm, and I am taking a 10-min. break, because I hurt very much, both tooth-wise and fibro-wise. OW.
It is a beehive here now. Wildness abounds. Today I wrestled with the demonic, eternally-jamming copier to make my Scriptie forms, and to make four copies of the script, all of which left in some new hires' hands. But I can't make any more scripts, as the copier has finally jammed for the last time. The guy is coming Monday. AGH! Every time I have to open the front of the dang thing to clear a jam, my aching hands hurt worse.
I fought with Final Draft, my screenwriting software, all morning, finally deciding to take the plunge and upgrade to FD7, downloading it online. Only trouble? No manual. So I downloaded that, too, all 400 pp of it, and printed it out.
I have gone through 5 reams of paper here today.
Folks were doing much location scouting, much interviewage, much legal hassle, with unions and work permits, trying to get a fleet of cars (Amelya), trying hard to concentrate when everyone jabbers nonstop in our very-live-sounding room (me) . . . trying to get to the breakdown, still didn't. I guess over the weekend . . . sigh.
We may or may not be taking a Christmas hiatus for a week. Oh, I hope so! It depends upon the cast and the higher-ups. Costume Designer Ron came on board today, and I dutifully took his pic for the wall of fame. Bruce declined to be photographed; I shall get him another time . . . if he is willing.
We are trying to find lodgings for out-of-town folk, crew and actors, and wonderful Harvey at the Executive Inn is SOOOO taking care of us! God bless him!
Also there is the whole Rental Fleet thing . . . Amelya called my old friend at DB from Shakespeare Fest. days on both Heather's and my recommendations . . .
Terry is taking Theo to "Bunnicula" tonight, in the hopes that it will make him more tractable at "Christmas Carol" on Christmas Eve (last time he only lasted ten minutes before talking too loudly to stay!) and I am passing, to work. I got to go to the "Noises Off" opening at the Rep with Terry Wed. night, before my tooth got yanked, on a real live date, our first in a Coon's Age. It is always so odd seeing The Tribe. I am very mixed about it. Especially people from the usurpation.
Back to it. Must Write Breakdown! SO tired . . . and the liquid diet isn't helping.
10:30 pm . . . Made it home. Twelve-hour day. Heather said laughingly "Is that all?" Because she is still there. I am no longer the last one out.
Steve the Casting Director came by around 8, and Heather and I both bragged on our kids (hers was in Spielberg's war miniseries and in "Alexander", how cool!). Tallis just got offered "Enemy of the People" at Taproot, which is okay if it doesn't conflict with "Gamers II" or with the student movie he's starring in . . . He is very sweet.
Amelya finally left after 11 hours, and she had a DATE, poor darling . . . she is being worked to the bone.
And God bless the amazing Heather . . . I think I did okay to stay for 12 hours with a hole in my face, but still, Heather is much cooler . . . I felt weird leaving her there all alone . . . it was scary down there at 9:30, when I left . . . I walked really fast up to the car. There was only one other guy on the street. And he was walking about ten feet behind me . . . scary.
OW. I have been at work all day, hole in my face or not, and it's 6pm, and I am taking a 10-min. break, because I hurt very much, both tooth-wise and fibro-wise. OW.
It is a beehive here now. Wildness abounds. Today I wrestled with the demonic, eternally-jamming copier to make my Scriptie forms, and to make four copies of the script, all of which left in some new hires' hands. But I can't make any more scripts, as the copier has finally jammed for the last time. The guy is coming Monday. AGH! Every time I have to open the front of the dang thing to clear a jam, my aching hands hurt worse.
I fought with Final Draft, my screenwriting software, all morning, finally deciding to take the plunge and upgrade to FD7, downloading it online. Only trouble? No manual. So I downloaded that, too, all 400 pp of it, and printed it out.
I have gone through 5 reams of paper here today.
Folks were doing much location scouting, much interviewage, much legal hassle, with unions and work permits, trying to get a fleet of cars (Amelya), trying hard to concentrate when everyone jabbers nonstop in our very-live-sounding room (me) . . . trying to get to the breakdown, still didn't. I guess over the weekend . . . sigh.
We may or may not be taking a Christmas hiatus for a week. Oh, I hope so! It depends upon the cast and the higher-ups. Costume Designer Ron came on board today, and I dutifully took his pic for the wall of fame. Bruce declined to be photographed; I shall get him another time . . . if he is willing.
We are trying to find lodgings for out-of-town folk, crew and actors, and wonderful Harvey at the Executive Inn is SOOOO taking care of us! God bless him!
Also there is the whole Rental Fleet thing . . . Amelya called my old friend at DB from Shakespeare Fest. days on both Heather's and my recommendations . . .
Terry is taking Theo to "Bunnicula" tonight, in the hopes that it will make him more tractable at "Christmas Carol" on Christmas Eve (last time he only lasted ten minutes before talking too loudly to stay!) and I am passing, to work. I got to go to the "Noises Off" opening at the Rep with Terry Wed. night, before my tooth got yanked, on a real live date, our first in a Coon's Age. It is always so odd seeing The Tribe. I am very mixed about it. Especially people from the usurpation.
Back to it. Must Write Breakdown! SO tired . . . and the liquid diet isn't helping.
10:30 pm . . . Made it home. Twelve-hour day. Heather said laughingly "Is that all?" Because she is still there. I am no longer the last one out.
Steve the Casting Director came by around 8, and Heather and I both bragged on our kids (hers was in Spielberg's war miniseries and in "Alexander", how cool!). Tallis just got offered "Enemy of the People" at Taproot, which is okay if it doesn't conflict with "Gamers II" or with the student movie he's starring in . . . He is very sweet.
Amelya finally left after 11 hours, and she had a DATE, poor darling . . . she is being worked to the bone.
And God bless the amazing Heather . . . I think I did okay to stay for 12 hours with a hole in my face, but still, Heather is much cooler . . . I felt weird leaving her there all alone . . . it was scary down there at 9:30, when I left . . . I walked really fast up to the car. There was only one other guy on the street. And he was walking about ten feet behind me . . . scary.
Honorable Mention!
12.16.04 (8:24 am) [edit]
http://www.genesissoftwarecorp.com/gmgfall2004winners.htm
My short got an honorable mention - see above link!
And my tooth came out today, so major OW.
Head pounding, tooth-hole pounding, burning sinuses . . .
Now I'm just praying the hole forms a good blood clot, as they didn't stitch it. And that it doesn't get infected.
I got 15 work calls today . . . finally I turned the cell off so I could rest, and it literally hurt to talk . . . I'm up for a minute to try to slide a smoothie down the side of my face . . .
OW.
But I'm glad it's finally out.
Now back to bed. Thank God Karin is here to babysit Theo so I can nap. So exhausted . . .
My short got an honorable mention - see above link!
And my tooth came out today, so major OW.
Head pounding, tooth-hole pounding, burning sinuses . . .
Now I'm just praying the hole forms a good blood clot, as they didn't stitch it. And that it doesn't get infected.
I got 15 work calls today . . . finally I turned the cell off so I could rest, and it literally hurt to talk . . . I'm up for a minute to try to slide a smoothie down the side of my face . . .
OW.
But I'm glad it's finally out.
Now back to bed. Thank God Karin is here to babysit Theo so I can nap. So exhausted . . .
INTERNET! JOY!
12.15.04 (9:06 am) [edit]
Wed. Dec. 15, 2004
I am on the phone on a conference call, sequestered in the kitchen for sound reduction, and taking a minute to write as I can't work.
The internet is UP!!!! Halleluia!!!!! And Blessed Heather is out in the main room, having taken over my former place-keeping Coordinator job. "And there was much rejoicing". (And no minstrels were consumed).
Yesterday was a day of frantic, frantic scrambling, with furious faxes flying, phone calls to very nice famous people (cool) to write letters of recommendation, plus "This has to get out today!" letters and general wildness. STILL no script work, and I am very very far behind. Chris the UPM came on, and started to break down the script, finding errors. I died inside. I have been pretty much running the office for two straight weeks, at a dead run by the way, and I can't break it down myself. AAAGGGH!!!!
As we had no internet, I had to go to an internet café to do the all-important emails that Rick needed.
Ran to Office Depot with Theo after work for paper . . .
I have an actual, leave-the-building-for-lu nch dentist appointment today, to discuss my pounding, pounding mouth. All the teeth on my right side now pound.
Here is the poem I am thinking about sending out in the Christmas Letter. It is about losing the farm, which haunts me nearly every minute of every day:
Dying Practice
I pray on this ancient rock
that curves into the bay.
I have worn a smooth spot here
through years of sitting.
The wind is warm with madrona spice.
The water laps the granite,
releasing a grain at a time
to form the beach below.
The seals pop up and down.
The heron fishes, crafty
on the slippery breakwater.
An eagle trills,
circling overhead.
Gnarled trees
grow out of clefts
in this rock;
their roots tenacious,
hanging on without soil.
Like me.
I do not want to leave here,
ever, ever.
But we don’t get to keep it.
Any of it;
these senses, this skin,
the holy earth under our feet.
It is an illusion we all dream;
that we will live forever
in this body.
Mourning this land,
I practice dying.
Over a lifetime,
each heartbeat
washes an atom away.
The rock and I
change forms together,
becoming the beach.
Bodies fail, in time.
We are cast out
of our personal Edens.
We all must journey
to new lands;
more whole, more green;
scented with the sweet power
of home.
I think there will be madronas there.
And warm summer wind,
and the sough of the sea.
And we will all soar
like eagles.
I am on the phone on a conference call, sequestered in the kitchen for sound reduction, and taking a minute to write as I can't work.
The internet is UP!!!! Halleluia!!!!! And Blessed Heather is out in the main room, having taken over my former place-keeping Coordinator job. "And there was much rejoicing". (And no minstrels were consumed).
Yesterday was a day of frantic, frantic scrambling, with furious faxes flying, phone calls to very nice famous people (cool) to write letters of recommendation, plus "This has to get out today!" letters and general wildness. STILL no script work, and I am very very far behind. Chris the UPM came on, and started to break down the script, finding errors. I died inside. I have been pretty much running the office for two straight weeks, at a dead run by the way, and I can't break it down myself. AAAGGGH!!!!
As we had no internet, I had to go to an internet café to do the all-important emails that Rick needed.
Ran to Office Depot with Theo after work for paper . . .
I have an actual, leave-the-building-for-lu nch dentist appointment today, to discuss my pounding, pounding mouth. All the teeth on my right side now pound.
Here is the poem I am thinking about sending out in the Christmas Letter. It is about losing the farm, which haunts me nearly every minute of every day:
Dying Practice
I pray on this ancient rock
that curves into the bay.
I have worn a smooth spot here
through years of sitting.
The wind is warm with madrona spice.
The water laps the granite,
releasing a grain at a time
to form the beach below.
The seals pop up and down.
The heron fishes, crafty
on the slippery breakwater.
An eagle trills,
circling overhead.
Gnarled trees
grow out of clefts
in this rock;
their roots tenacious,
hanging on without soil.
Like me.
I do not want to leave here,
ever, ever.
But we don’t get to keep it.
Any of it;
these senses, this skin,
the holy earth under our feet.
It is an illusion we all dream;
that we will live forever
in this body.
Mourning this land,
I practice dying.
Over a lifetime,
each heartbeat
washes an atom away.
The rock and I
change forms together,
becoming the beach.
Bodies fail, in time.
We are cast out
of our personal Edens.
We all must journey
to new lands;
more whole, more green;
scented with the sweet power
of home.
I think there will be madronas there.
And warm summer wind,
and the sough of the sea.
And we will all soar
like eagles.
A Real Coordinator!
12.13.04 (9:01 pm) [edit]
The good news for today is that Rick hired a Production Coordinator this afternoon, huzzah. Her name is Heather and she is utterly perfect. I am ecstatic. She was born in my same decade, bless her lovely heart, just like most of the department heads. I LOVE being around fellow "seasoned" people! I don't feel like the grandma of the shoot when it's like this. Go, Rick.
She starts Wednesday, so only one more day of doing two jobs down there, and then, joy, I can actually do the Scriptie work that I have been longing to do!!!
The bad news is that I have to do a long project tonight, now that I have the internet, and I am so exhausted, both from a very long day and my horrible tooth pain (agh - half my mouth is on fire, and I am doing way too many Advils for my poor liver), that I may make a mess of it. I have to write all about one of our crew, in what John calls "lawyer talk", so that they can work for the film. But whenever I look at the forms to fill out, I just keep thinking of "Rodents of Unusual Size", from The Princess Bride. Punchy . . .
Better get to it before I fall over.
Oh, and the boys decorated the tree tonight. They waited until I got home at 7, and tried to get through chewing my painful dinner, before launching themselves at the decorations. Way cute.
To work again.
Oh, how I wish I had the internet at the production office, and didn't have to do it all at night for most of my supposedly off-hours . . . Hoping and praying for rescue tomorrow, as a MAC expert will arrive in the morning.
She starts Wednesday, so only one more day of doing two jobs down there, and then, joy, I can actually do the Scriptie work that I have been longing to do!!!
The bad news is that I have to do a long project tonight, now that I have the internet, and I am so exhausted, both from a very long day and my horrible tooth pain (agh - half my mouth is on fire, and I am doing way too many Advils for my poor liver), that I may make a mess of it. I have to write all about one of our crew, in what John calls "lawyer talk", so that they can work for the film. But whenever I look at the forms to fill out, I just keep thinking of "Rodents of Unusual Size", from The Princess Bride. Punchy . . .
Better get to it before I fall over.
Oh, and the boys decorated the tree tonight. They waited until I got home at 7, and tried to get through chewing my painful dinner, before launching themselves at the decorations. Way cute.
To work again.
Oh, how I wish I had the internet at the production office, and didn't have to do it all at night for most of my supposedly off-hours . . . Hoping and praying for rescue tomorrow, as a MAC expert will arrive in the morning.
Rest
12.12.04 (11:11 am) [edit]
I slept, basically, all day yesterday. And today I coached one actor this morning, and am craving a nap now, though I can't have one, as Terry and Tallis are working and I'm with Theo. I think my days off are going to be for sleeping, not visiting or laundry or errands. I am one tired puppy.
Tonight is the family party that I have been dreading . . . the sellers of the farm will be there . . . quite nervous to see them, actually. Every night I lie awake, haunted by images of the farm, and then dream sad dreams of never going there again, and sometimes wake up crying.
Wish I could get over it.
Work may be the key to forgetting that we are losing Eden. If I can just sleep through the night without being haunted by beaches and warm madrona smell and sea wind . . . it took me years and years to get over the loss of Sperry Peninsula, and this is much harder. This is like losing a part of my body. And for my kids . . . Lord, have mercy . . .
Tonight is the family party that I have been dreading . . . the sellers of the farm will be there . . . quite nervous to see them, actually. Every night I lie awake, haunted by images of the farm, and then dream sad dreams of never going there again, and sometimes wake up crying.
Wish I could get over it.
Work may be the key to forgetting that we are losing Eden. If I can just sleep through the night without being haunted by beaches and warm madrona smell and sea wind . . . it took me years and years to get over the loss of Sperry Peninsula, and this is much harder. This is like losing a part of my body. And for my kids . . . Lord, have mercy . . .
A Wacky Computer Day
12.10.04 (11:12 pm) [edit]
Friday Dec. 10, 2004
Good thing I speed-corrected the script on Wed. night, because everybody was pining for scripts down in the office first thing Thursday morning (while my tooth was supposedly being extracted, grr), so when I got home I spent an hour on the phone getting it sent to Kinko's so that Charlie could pick it up for his team.
Yesterday after I got in, at last, Charlie and Merlin and Amelya and I actually took a break, and sat on the couch, and schmoozed for a few minutes. Great folks. So far, everyone seems to be sweet to work with - yay. Rick chooses people very well, bless him.
Today started with a bang as Doug and Charlie called, needing (sigh) to be hooked up to the internet (ha). I told them the number of the I.T. guy upstairs. He finally arrived when I got in at ten, and we spent a joyous several hours trying to get my MAC to connect to the network. No go.
Very depressing. Nine days into this, and we have no phone and no internet. Well, I have no internet. The PC people do. Sigh. Everybody and their dog tried to connect me to the internet today, the I.T. guys, Terry via phone, Apple support, even my boss John the Producer sat down and had a go for half an hour. Nothing. Embarrassing and frustrating. I got very little film work done today because of it.
I am unsure as to whether or not I should buy an airline ticket, as formerly instructed, for Charlie's girlfriend to fly in for Christmas, as John hasn't gotten my calls tonight. I hope I can do that, as John said there is no money for a car for him; he has to use my huge big truck, which is impossible to park. Poor guy, and he's so sweet about it.
I am aching to get to my Scriptie work at last. I really haven't had time with all the production coordiation. And we start filming a month from today!
Had to pick Theo up from his sensory integration therapy today, and Liliana asked about more Tomatis for him. I don't see how that will be very easy right now . . . but we have to do it.
The two of us went to REI to pick up my waterproof outerwear for the shoot. A big relief to have that done. Bye bye, leaky raincoat! And my first waterproof shoes, for about 15 years. They will come in handy. Then we went to the chiropractor, and to the raw food restaurant and gluten-free bakery, stocking up for the weekend.
Once home, Theo and I cuddled on the couch and watched the broadcast of "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" tonight. His first viewing of it. He thought the Grinch was bad and should go to jail. He is very black and white about behavior right now.
And I finally, finally took the personal time to do the Christmas list, started our Christmas letter, and ordered e-gifts for the boys and their cousins, while watching "An Ideal Husbad", which was delicious. GLEE!
Must begin Scriptie work.
Tomorrow . . .
Matt called with a rehearsal time for Olesia Sunday morning, and with The Gamers' contact sheet and shooting schedule. I am a mad woman to prep two movies at once!
I am a very blessed madwoman. And grateful.
God bless this bod . . . and Aunt Joyce . . . and my sweet boys. Terry told Tallis, tonight, as he went to bed, that Tallis had done two great performances tonight. What fun, to have the two of them working together, and to have them both be so excellent.
Swelling with pride in them, my heart is, as Yoda would say.
Good thing I speed-corrected the script on Wed. night, because everybody was pining for scripts down in the office first thing Thursday morning (while my tooth was supposedly being extracted, grr), so when I got home I spent an hour on the phone getting it sent to Kinko's so that Charlie could pick it up for his team.
Yesterday after I got in, at last, Charlie and Merlin and Amelya and I actually took a break, and sat on the couch, and schmoozed for a few minutes. Great folks. So far, everyone seems to be sweet to work with - yay. Rick chooses people very well, bless him.
Today started with a bang as Doug and Charlie called, needing (sigh) to be hooked up to the internet (ha). I told them the number of the I.T. guy upstairs. He finally arrived when I got in at ten, and we spent a joyous several hours trying to get my MAC to connect to the network. No go.
Very depressing. Nine days into this, and we have no phone and no internet. Well, I have no internet. The PC people do. Sigh. Everybody and their dog tried to connect me to the internet today, the I.T. guys, Terry via phone, Apple support, even my boss John the Producer sat down and had a go for half an hour. Nothing. Embarrassing and frustrating. I got very little film work done today because of it.
I am unsure as to whether or not I should buy an airline ticket, as formerly instructed, for Charlie's girlfriend to fly in for Christmas, as John hasn't gotten my calls tonight. I hope I can do that, as John said there is no money for a car for him; he has to use my huge big truck, which is impossible to park. Poor guy, and he's so sweet about it.
I am aching to get to my Scriptie work at last. I really haven't had time with all the production coordiation. And we start filming a month from today!
Had to pick Theo up from his sensory integration therapy today, and Liliana asked about more Tomatis for him. I don't see how that will be very easy right now . . . but we have to do it.
The two of us went to REI to pick up my waterproof outerwear for the shoot. A big relief to have that done. Bye bye, leaky raincoat! And my first waterproof shoes, for about 15 years. They will come in handy. Then we went to the chiropractor, and to the raw food restaurant and gluten-free bakery, stocking up for the weekend.
Once home, Theo and I cuddled on the couch and watched the broadcast of "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" tonight. His first viewing of it. He thought the Grinch was bad and should go to jail. He is very black and white about behavior right now.
And I finally, finally took the personal time to do the Christmas list, started our Christmas letter, and ordered e-gifts for the boys and their cousins, while watching "An Ideal Husbad", which was delicious. GLEE!
Must begin Scriptie work.
Tomorrow . . .
Matt called with a rehearsal time for Olesia Sunday morning, and with The Gamers' contact sheet and shooting schedule. I am a mad woman to prep two movies at once!
I am a very blessed madwoman. And grateful.
God bless this bod . . . and Aunt Joyce . . . and my sweet boys. Terry told Tallis, tonight, as he went to bed, that Tallis had done two great performances tonight. What fun, to have the two of them working together, and to have them both be so excellent.
Swelling with pride in them, my heart is, as Yoda would say.
Bad Dentist, No Biscuit
12.09.04 (10:21 am) [edit]
The goons didn't take out the tooth after all, this morning, which is actually just as frustrating and disappointing as if they had, as I now have to reschedule for next week or later, and we are getting close to filming by then.
AAGH! Long and probably boring story short, I am still in as much pain, but the substitute dentist wouldn't do the deed, so I had to get a sub at work, fast all morning, and have poor Terry, who has the flu too, drive me downtown to a very toxic office, and when, after half an hour of uncecessary paperwork, the dentist finally saw me in his terribly stinky and dizzy-inducing office, he said "now, what is MCS?"
An hour later they let us go home. And I have to try to get a sub next week too. And they still might not take it out.
But enough whining. I have blessed Amelya in for me (yay!), and will actually take a much-needed nap now, and then go in to work and stay late.
Sigh.
Oh well.
Rejoicing in the possibility of a real, live, nap. Like I used to have in the days before I became a working woman. Housewifery has its perks . . .
AAGH! Long and probably boring story short, I am still in as much pain, but the substitute dentist wouldn't do the deed, so I had to get a sub at work, fast all morning, and have poor Terry, who has the flu too, drive me downtown to a very toxic office, and when, after half an hour of uncecessary paperwork, the dentist finally saw me in his terribly stinky and dizzy-inducing office, he said "now, what is MCS?"
An hour later they let us go home. And I have to try to get a sub next week too. And they still might not take it out.
But enough whining. I have blessed Amelya in for me (yay!), and will actually take a much-needed nap now, and then go in to work and stay late.
Sigh.
Oh well.
Rejoicing in the possibility of a real, live, nap. Like I used to have in the days before I became a working woman. Housewifery has its perks . . .
10-Hour Day Plus Night
12.08.04 (7:42 pm) [edit]
Wed. Dec. 8, 2004
Ten-hour day at the production office, as I had to meet the copier guys, the phone and internet guys, and then stay late for the sign guy. But all machines are present and accounted-for, though the internet and phone are, what a surprise, not working yet.
Went to the airport to pick up Charlie from Atlanta, our new Production Designer. What a hoot of a guy! A wonderful, jolly, cigar-smoking, white-haired, easygoing, smart, funny, swearing kind of guy, all dressed in black. Bless him, he is very happy to be working on this film. We bonded. His twentysomething son Merlin (yes, you read right, "Merlin", how cool is that!) will be working under him in the Art Department. They just did John Vechey's short film, "Geek Like Me", a few weeks ago - the short that I did a day of very fun extra work on. With the amazing crew, and a budget that I could shoot a feature for! I envy John his talent, his youth, and his success. Hoping for some success in my middle years. (In God's timing, and God's definition of success, always.)
Terry and I are lending Charlie our truck, as he has no vehicle in town. So I drove him to our house, and, as tired as I was, it was so hard not to jump into bed, but I resolutely drove back downtown, and it was a good thing too, because 5 minutes out from the office John called needing me to translate my writing (oops!) on a message.
New PA Amelya came on today for 3 hours, helping me with my Prodigy Camp work. And she will sit in for me tomorrow while I recover from the tooth extraction. She rocks. She worked on "Police Beat" with Sean.
Scared about the general anaesthetic . . .
I am utterly exhausted, and a tad iffy about the tummy; hoping and praying it's not the flu. A day lying around in pain may be excellent just now. Hoping for not too much of the pain part!!
As Rick was leaving tonight, on his way to L.A. for more casting, he looked around at the office, laughed at me duct taping Christmas lights on to our new company signs for the windows, and said "Thank you for all the joyful touches you bring to the office." I felt appreciated. He thanked me earlier for making him lunch, too, and for lending Charlie the car, etc., for "all you do", he said. I said lightly "Any time", as he walked by. He stopped, stood in his office door and said, "No, really. I mean it." I got it, and said, soberly, "You are very welcome."
It matters, knowing that one's work is appreciated. It shouldn't, but it really does. I must remember this when I am in charge of the PA's. I should be very appreciative of Amelya, who is totally saving my butt tomorrow, covering for me. I don't remember if I thanked her today. God bless that woman.
I am trying to take a digi-pic of every person who comes on staff the day that they do, and posting them in the kitchen on the bulletin board. I want people to feel a part of the team.
It gets exciting from here. Now I can haul no more furniture, as my truck is Charlie's. YAY!
I must fix the script tonight. When I got home at 7:30, Theo and I did "Theo and I things", instead of working, and now it's 9:30, the gluten-free brownies are baked, and I am sitting down to begin my internet work and revise the script for its many typos (of course Rick's already sent it out to the department heads who are on board!). I have to email it to him tonight. So he can print it out for the trip to L.A., I guess.
At least I can rest tomorrow. Have to.
Life is good. I love my job. And I love this amazing script. Time to work on it.
P.S. Just read the article on beloved Elizabeth in the paper. (Link on my site). I love her so much. I would be a dead puppy without her, twenty years ago and now. God is so good to me.
Ten-hour day at the production office, as I had to meet the copier guys, the phone and internet guys, and then stay late for the sign guy. But all machines are present and accounted-for, though the internet and phone are, what a surprise, not working yet.
Went to the airport to pick up Charlie from Atlanta, our new Production Designer. What a hoot of a guy! A wonderful, jolly, cigar-smoking, white-haired, easygoing, smart, funny, swearing kind of guy, all dressed in black. Bless him, he is very happy to be working on this film. We bonded. His twentysomething son Merlin (yes, you read right, "Merlin", how cool is that!) will be working under him in the Art Department. They just did John Vechey's short film, "Geek Like Me", a few weeks ago - the short that I did a day of very fun extra work on. With the amazing crew, and a budget that I could shoot a feature for! I envy John his talent, his youth, and his success. Hoping for some success in my middle years. (In God's timing, and God's definition of success, always.)
Terry and I are lending Charlie our truck, as he has no vehicle in town. So I drove him to our house, and, as tired as I was, it was so hard not to jump into bed, but I resolutely drove back downtown, and it was a good thing too, because 5 minutes out from the office John called needing me to translate my writing (oops!) on a message.
New PA Amelya came on today for 3 hours, helping me with my Prodigy Camp work. And she will sit in for me tomorrow while I recover from the tooth extraction. She rocks. She worked on "Police Beat" with Sean.
Scared about the general anaesthetic . . .
I am utterly exhausted, and a tad iffy about the tummy; hoping and praying it's not the flu. A day lying around in pain may be excellent just now. Hoping for not too much of the pain part!!
As Rick was leaving tonight, on his way to L.A. for more casting, he looked around at the office, laughed at me duct taping Christmas lights on to our new company signs for the windows, and said "Thank you for all the joyful touches you bring to the office." I felt appreciated. He thanked me earlier for making him lunch, too, and for lending Charlie the car, etc., for "all you do", he said. I said lightly "Any time", as he walked by. He stopped, stood in his office door and said, "No, really. I mean it." I got it, and said, soberly, "You are very welcome."
It matters, knowing that one's work is appreciated. It shouldn't, but it really does. I must remember this when I am in charge of the PA's. I should be very appreciative of Amelya, who is totally saving my butt tomorrow, covering for me. I don't remember if I thanked her today. God bless that woman.
I am trying to take a digi-pic of every person who comes on staff the day that they do, and posting them in the kitchen on the bulletin board. I want people to feel a part of the team.
It gets exciting from here. Now I can haul no more furniture, as my truck is Charlie's. YAY!
I must fix the script tonight. When I got home at 7:30, Theo and I did "Theo and I things", instead of working, and now it's 9:30, the gluten-free brownies are baked, and I am sitting down to begin my internet work and revise the script for its many typos (of course Rick's already sent it out to the department heads who are on board!). I have to email it to him tonight. So he can print it out for the trip to L.A., I guess.
At least I can rest tomorrow. Have to.
Life is good. I love my job. And I love this amazing script. Time to work on it.
P.S. Just read the article on beloved Elizabeth in the paper. (Link on my site). I love her so much. I would be a dead puppy without her, twenty years ago and now. God is so good to me.
Gerbil on a Wheel
12.07.04 (7:24 pm) [edit]
Dec. 5, 2004
It's been a long week of scrounging furniture, moving it in to the office on Dec. 1, 2, 3, & 4 (yesterday, Saturday) and all-day secretarial as well, as I am the Acting Production Coordinator for now.
Today is Sunday, my day off. Ahh.
It was delicious and sweet, and tiring too.
I went to church, with Stan and Liz and Terry and Tallis and Theo and Mom. Sweet service, for National AIDS Day. When everyone got up to go down the stairs for communion, Liz elected to stay up in the balcony with Mom, as I always do, so Mom can have the elements brought up to her. I was so very sick, dizzy, and tired from my long week that, when Tallis vacated the space beside me, I just lay down with my head by Mom's lap, and she, in a singularly uncharacteristic move, put her hand on my arm and stroked it for a few holy minutes. Here I was, as exhausted as I have ever been, and really needing some mothering, and with the Orcas pain smack between us, hurting us both, and I actually got cuddled by my nearly 80-year-old Mommie. I couldn't stop the tears. It was so lovely that it hurt. I was so happy/tired that I stayed down all through communion and only got up for the last hymn, though Mom eventially took her arm back.
Made me think of Pam, and her sadness over missing her Mom . . .
I am so used to mothering my boys that I forgot that I need some too, now and then. And Terry is not all that huggy most of the time.
Then I invited her home for lunch, and the two of us made chicken sandwiches for everyone.
Mom had the idea of taking us all up to the Conservatory Open House to see the tropical plants, so we spent a happy hour. Liz, Theo, Mom, and me, breathing in the orchids. Theo loved the water grotto. Really fun, though I was missing my dreamed-of nap.
Then Liz and Theo and I had the urge to go the U. Village outdoor mall (on the second Sunday of Advent, no less!) and we miraculously found a parking place, and actually achieved Santa picture sand haircuts for both Theo and me, and Liz found presents for Terry and Theo.
And a lovely night just hanging around (while I did production work on the computer, of course).
A really good day off. Family is a great gift, that I do not take lightly, in this scary and tentative time when everyone is getting on in years . . .
Dec. 6, 2004
The company office space is vast, but when 20 staff members are beetling about it ought to be stuffed. Even with the loading dock/shop/art department rooms! Or the nifty kitchen (which I decorated with Christmas lights Saturday to help us avoid the overhanging duct at forehead level). John's lovely wife came in and noticed all my nesting, as well as my photo-collage involving "Bard" (new name for "Tjeerd"), my horse.
Very very very tired. Doing email/net at home, as we have ni internet at work yet . . .
Tallis is vomiting in the next room, he caught Theo's flu.
Must. Sleep.
Dec. 7, 2004
B. called VERY early this morning (as she had fogotten the three-hour time difference) to tell me that they have put my Godmother in a nursing home.
It seems that one weekend that B. was off duty, Inna the Russian nurse made a faux pas. My Godmother had one of her big stubborn moments, refusing to move, saying that she couldn't take another step. So Inna, instead of rushing for a chair as B. would have done, lowered her to the floor (BAD IDEA, as she is impossible to get up again), and she dislocated her hip again in the process.
So, one week before she was supposed to go the the White House to recieve a big literary award, she landed in the hospital, and then in rehab, for two weeks or more, and now she won't walk any more, as she is all atrophied.
A great way to start the day. I probably wouldn't have heard if not for B., as no one else called or wrote.
So, as far as the movie goes:
Bruce came in today, and noticed all my nesting too, and praised getting 8k of space for 1.5k per month. Yay, I feel useful.
Hauled the big new fridge that I got for 100 bucks at Dixon's into the office this morning. I seriously hope it is my last furniture run, as I am loaning my truck to the Production Designer when he arrives.
Nearly lost it today. Well, okay , I did lose it. While the bosses were out at a meeting, I got a call from the dentist, trying to schedule the extraction of my pounding, insomnia-inducing, sore tooth. I sobbed at my desk because it was so hard to schedule, and because the receptionist was so pissy. Went for a walk to get out of the nasty spackled-office fumes, in the rain, and bought oatmeal, which is all my iffy stomach wanted. Talked to Pam and felt better. It looks like Terry has accepted the lead role in Taproot's "Enemy of the People", which rehearses and opens during my shoot.
Yes, we are insane artist people. Terry's folks are coming up for tech week, so that the kids have family caring for them.
I will be doing 12-hour days, so it's really not my decision. Still, the potential for wierdness abounds . . . trusting the Spirit that it will be okay. We both felt a peace about it when we prayed last night.
Got back from the drenching half-hour walk, and Rick was back. He has a NASTY cold, and was sneezing in Herculean eruptions all day. He asked me in for a meeting about "Prodigy Camp" (which I am very behind on), and cautioned me about certain aspects of it. A good meeting. But I am so far behind, and having no internet access at work means that I must stay up late at home doing that bit.
Tomorrow I break in a new PA to take over the Production Coordinator job for me for Thursday, so that I can be out for the whole day (as they are putting me under general anaesthetic, must not drive, must rest a day and let the drugs seep out).
Tomorrow I also must pick up our new Production Designer, Christopher, at the airport at noon.
I have to get in at the crack of dawn to meet various vendors (phone, internet, copiers!), so must try my hardest to get to bed early. Fervently hoping nobody pukes tonight at our house. And that the Advil works on the pounding tooth. And that the new PA is a doll and really smart, with a short learning curve!
I get to upload our movie listing info to IMDb soon, when we have something like a cast. And Hollywood Rperoter, hopefully tomorrow. John already did Variety.
In talking to Peter (Locations) today, he, who used to be in theatre, likened shooting a film to "Two months of tech week, but with no opening night!" Apt analogy, say I. I have only been this stressed on theatre techs, and on my own shoot last Spring.
So many years running the two theatres, and I am still surprised at the amount of work it takes to commit art. When will I learn?
It is a good thing to be doing what I am doing. I just hurt. But as I keep saying, better to hurt doing something you want to do than to hurt on the couch.
Although that couch is looking pretty good over there . . .
It's been a long week of scrounging furniture, moving it in to the office on Dec. 1, 2, 3, & 4 (yesterday, Saturday) and all-day secretarial as well, as I am the Acting Production Coordinator for now.
Today is Sunday, my day off. Ahh.
It was delicious and sweet, and tiring too.
I went to church, with Stan and Liz and Terry and Tallis and Theo and Mom. Sweet service, for National AIDS Day. When everyone got up to go down the stairs for communion, Liz elected to stay up in the balcony with Mom, as I always do, so Mom can have the elements brought up to her. I was so very sick, dizzy, and tired from my long week that, when Tallis vacated the space beside me, I just lay down with my head by Mom's lap, and she, in a singularly uncharacteristic move, put her hand on my arm and stroked it for a few holy minutes. Here I was, as exhausted as I have ever been, and really needing some mothering, and with the Orcas pain smack between us, hurting us both, and I actually got cuddled by my nearly 80-year-old Mommie. I couldn't stop the tears. It was so lovely that it hurt. I was so happy/tired that I stayed down all through communion and only got up for the last hymn, though Mom eventially took her arm back.
Made me think of Pam, and her sadness over missing her Mom . . .
I am so used to mothering my boys that I forgot that I need some too, now and then. And Terry is not all that huggy most of the time.
Then I invited her home for lunch, and the two of us made chicken sandwiches for everyone.
Mom had the idea of taking us all up to the Conservatory Open House to see the tropical plants, so we spent a happy hour. Liz, Theo, Mom, and me, breathing in the orchids. Theo loved the water grotto. Really fun, though I was missing my dreamed-of nap.
Then Liz and Theo and I had the urge to go the U. Village outdoor mall (on the second Sunday of Advent, no less!) and we miraculously found a parking place, and actually achieved Santa picture sand haircuts for both Theo and me, and Liz found presents for Terry and Theo.
And a lovely night just hanging around (while I did production work on the computer, of course).
A really good day off. Family is a great gift, that I do not take lightly, in this scary and tentative time when everyone is getting on in years . . .
Dec. 6, 2004
The company office space is vast, but when 20 staff members are beetling about it ought to be stuffed. Even with the loading dock/shop/art department rooms! Or the nifty kitchen (which I decorated with Christmas lights Saturday to help us avoid the overhanging duct at forehead level). John's lovely wife came in and noticed all my nesting, as well as my photo-collage involving "Bard" (new name for "Tjeerd"), my horse.
Very very very tired. Doing email/net at home, as we have ni internet at work yet . . .
Tallis is vomiting in the next room, he caught Theo's flu.
Must. Sleep.
Dec. 7, 2004
B. called VERY early this morning (as she had fogotten the three-hour time difference) to tell me that they have put my Godmother in a nursing home.
It seems that one weekend that B. was off duty, Inna the Russian nurse made a faux pas. My Godmother had one of her big stubborn moments, refusing to move, saying that she couldn't take another step. So Inna, instead of rushing for a chair as B. would have done, lowered her to the floor (BAD IDEA, as she is impossible to get up again), and she dislocated her hip again in the process.
So, one week before she was supposed to go the the White House to recieve a big literary award, she landed in the hospital, and then in rehab, for two weeks or more, and now she won't walk any more, as she is all atrophied.
A great way to start the day. I probably wouldn't have heard if not for B., as no one else called or wrote.
So, as far as the movie goes:
Bruce came in today, and noticed all my nesting too, and praised getting 8k of space for 1.5k per month. Yay, I feel useful.
Hauled the big new fridge that I got for 100 bucks at Dixon's into the office this morning. I seriously hope it is my last furniture run, as I am loaning my truck to the Production Designer when he arrives.
Nearly lost it today. Well, okay , I did lose it. While the bosses were out at a meeting, I got a call from the dentist, trying to schedule the extraction of my pounding, insomnia-inducing, sore tooth. I sobbed at my desk because it was so hard to schedule, and because the receptionist was so pissy. Went for a walk to get out of the nasty spackled-office fumes, in the rain, and bought oatmeal, which is all my iffy stomach wanted. Talked to Pam and felt better. It looks like Terry has accepted the lead role in Taproot's "Enemy of the People", which rehearses and opens during my shoot.
Yes, we are insane artist people. Terry's folks are coming up for tech week, so that the kids have family caring for them.
I will be doing 12-hour days, so it's really not my decision. Still, the potential for wierdness abounds . . . trusting the Spirit that it will be okay. We both felt a peace about it when we prayed last night.
Got back from the drenching half-hour walk, and Rick was back. He has a NASTY cold, and was sneezing in Herculean eruptions all day. He asked me in for a meeting about "Prodigy Camp" (which I am very behind on), and cautioned me about certain aspects of it. A good meeting. But I am so far behind, and having no internet access at work means that I must stay up late at home doing that bit.
Tomorrow I break in a new PA to take over the Production Coordinator job for me for Thursday, so that I can be out for the whole day (as they are putting me under general anaesthetic, must not drive, must rest a day and let the drugs seep out).
Tomorrow I also must pick up our new Production Designer, Christopher, at the airport at noon.
I have to get in at the crack of dawn to meet various vendors (phone, internet, copiers!), so must try my hardest to get to bed early. Fervently hoping nobody pukes tonight at our house. And that the Advil works on the pounding tooth. And that the new PA is a doll and really smart, with a short learning curve!
I get to upload our movie listing info to IMDb soon, when we have something like a cast. And Hollywood Rperoter, hopefully tomorrow. John already did Variety.
In talking to Peter (Locations) today, he, who used to be in theatre, likened shooting a film to "Two months of tech week, but with no opening night!" Apt analogy, say I. I have only been this stressed on theatre techs, and on my own shoot last Spring.
So many years running the two theatres, and I am still surprised at the amount of work it takes to commit art. When will I learn?
It is a good thing to be doing what I am doing. I just hurt. But as I keep saying, better to hurt doing something you want to do than to hurt on the couch.
Although that couch is looking pretty good over there . . .
PrePro
12.04.04 (11:12 pm) [edit]
Here is my favorite Ray Bradbury quotation on writing:
"If you are writing without zest, without gusto, without love, without fun, you are only half a writer . . . you don't even know yourself. For the first thing a writer should be is -- excited. He should be a thing of fevers and enthusiasms. Without such vigor, he might as well be out picking peaches or digging ditches; God knows it'd be better for his health . . . What do you love most in the world? What do you want most in the world? What do you love, or what do you hate?
"Find a character, like yourself, who will want something or not want something, with all his heart. Give him running orders. Shoot him off. Then follow as fast as you can go. The character, in his great love, or hate, will rush you through to the end of the story. The zest and gusto of his need, and there is zest in hate as well as in love, will fire the landscape and raise the temperature of your typewriter thirty degrees."
--- Zen in the Art of Writing
I am aching to get back to my writing.
But I have temporarily given up scribbling furiously on my novel, and revising two of my screenplays that need to be turned in SOON, to jump whole hog into preproduction on "The Feature". Very exciting. I am looking forward to working on someone else's movie, rather than directing, as I know I will learn even more as a Script Supervisor than if I were running the show. It's all good for the future, I hope . . .
I am also Acting Coach for "Tish's Feature" (another film shooting near Seattle), which is a hoot, and also a lot of work.
I am utterly exhausted. As "Acting Production Coordinator", I have been putting the office together, driving all over collecting free or nearly-free office equipment in my truck, all week. Scrounge, scrounge. On an Extremely Low-Budget, we have to beg and borrow what we can. Tomorrow Bert and Mike and I go to get a huge pile of desks, file cabinets, all sorts of stuff for a song, as wonderful Patsy is emptying her storage compartment. And so it goes.
My pain level is huge.
Today (with the 2 guys helping) I moved in some more furniture that I garnered at Value Village last night, called around town for copier, fax, and printer rentals, ordered signage for the front of the building, tried to mediate between Rick and a native dance troupe that want too much money, hoofed it to get Rick his lunch, set up our new 17.00 microwave, did plumbing to stop a flood in the kitchen, fought the landlord, who wants to put an alarm lock on the door to Rick's /John's office, wore my mask because the basement carpet makes my sinuses hurt, inadvertently overheard part of a meeting with department heads (I am supposed to be one, but am not invited yet to "_____ might be good in that job" meetings), tried to decipher Final Draft 6 to sort out something Rick wants on the script, set up tomorrow's schedule, etc., etc . . . SO tired.
But we are making a Mooovie!
I hope I can last. We aren't in production for a month!!! SO much to do . . .
Praise God . . . and bless the MCS/fibro . . .
"If you are writing without zest, without gusto, without love, without fun, you are only half a writer . . . you don't even know yourself. For the first thing a writer should be is -- excited. He should be a thing of fevers and enthusiasms. Without such vigor, he might as well be out picking peaches or digging ditches; God knows it'd be better for his health . . . What do you love most in the world? What do you want most in the world? What do you love, or what do you hate?
"Find a character, like yourself, who will want something or not want something, with all his heart. Give him running orders. Shoot him off. Then follow as fast as you can go. The character, in his great love, or hate, will rush you through to the end of the story. The zest and gusto of his need, and there is zest in hate as well as in love, will fire the landscape and raise the temperature of your typewriter thirty degrees."
--- Zen in the Art of Writing
I am aching to get back to my writing.
But I have temporarily given up scribbling furiously on my novel, and revising two of my screenplays that need to be turned in SOON, to jump whole hog into preproduction on "The Feature". Very exciting. I am looking forward to working on someone else's movie, rather than directing, as I know I will learn even more as a Script Supervisor than if I were running the show. It's all good for the future, I hope . . .
I am also Acting Coach for "Tish's Feature" (another film shooting near Seattle), which is a hoot, and also a lot of work.
I am utterly exhausted. As "Acting Production Coordinator", I have been putting the office together, driving all over collecting free or nearly-free office equipment in my truck, all week. Scrounge, scrounge. On an Extremely Low-Budget, we have to beg and borrow what we can. Tomorrow Bert and Mike and I go to get a huge pile of desks, file cabinets, all sorts of stuff for a song, as wonderful Patsy is emptying her storage compartment. And so it goes.
My pain level is huge.
Today (with the 2 guys helping) I moved in some more furniture that I garnered at Value Village last night, called around town for copier, fax, and printer rentals, ordered signage for the front of the building, tried to mediate between Rick and a native dance troupe that want too much money, hoofed it to get Rick his lunch, set up our new 17.00 microwave, did plumbing to stop a flood in the kitchen, fought the landlord, who wants to put an alarm lock on the door to Rick's /John's office, wore my mask because the basement carpet makes my sinuses hurt, inadvertently overheard part of a meeting with department heads (I am supposed to be one, but am not invited yet to "_____ might be good in that job" meetings), tried to decipher Final Draft 6 to sort out something Rick wants on the script, set up tomorrow's schedule, etc., etc . . . SO tired.
But we are making a Mooovie!
I hope I can last. We aren't in production for a month!!! SO much to do . . .
Praise God . . . and bless the MCS/fibro . . .